Mensanity is going on a small hiatus while I work on a related project. For now, click on the index tab and peruse posts you may have missed. Stay tuned. Stay logical. Stay sane.Read More
In the good old days, when someone exited your life, they were pretty much good as dead. Someone might bump into Sally at the corner store and tell you she’s looking good but you don’t really know how good. You might hear through the grapevine that Megan is dating someone else but don't know what this guy looks like. You might still see Becky at school or at events, but you can set out to avoid her. Back then, it was outta sight, outta mind. Or at the very least, it was limited to what your mind could imagine. Moving on was limited to an overactive imagination...Read More
Sex with only one person gets boring. But that doesn’t mean it’s not enjoyable. Starting your workday every morning with coffee is boring but enjoyable because you need it. Ordering the same takeout from the same restaurant is boring but enjoyable because you know what works on the menu and it means you don’t have to cook. Having the same routine day in and day out is boring but enjoyable because it relieves you of stress. But just because something is enjoyable doesn’t mean it can’t be more enjoyable...Read More
You apply a cost-benefit analysis to everything you do. Going back to school to do your MBA is going to cost you time and money but you’ll end up earning more. Shaving half an hour off your commute to work is worth paying a couple hundred dollars more a month in rent. You will take this medication that causes severe side effects because the risks and effects are less than dying from the disease itself. Decisions are easy to rationalize when you can look at numbers or risk objectively.
No one engages in this cost-benefit analysis at the start of a relationship. There’s not a whole lot to analyze when things are new and fun. Logic is lulled into hibernation. Science is replaced with art.Read More
The couple at the table next to you have barely said a word to each aside from discussing what to order. There’s no eye contact between them. They hold mutual mid-field gazes past each other. Everything in the restaurant is more interesting that the person across the table. Like tension you can cut with a knife, you could drive a bus through the void between them...Read More
Women are investigative and detail oriented creatures. Your mother snooped through your room while you were at school to find out what you’re up to. Your girlfriend asks why you haven't worn a piece of clothing in a while. Your wife notices when the passenger seat has been moved...Read More
Drinking leads to chatting. Chatting leads to dancing. Dancing leads to grinding. Grinding leads to leaving. But wait, who are these human obstacles in your way? Why are they whispering to your girl and giving you the evil eye? Why are they undoing all the groundwork you laid? Why are they compromising the last leg of your mission?Read More
Somewhere between the “getting to know you” phase and the “really getting to know you” phase, you may feel compelled to ask about the number of sexual partners she’s had. You want to know this number because:
- You think women who have slept with a lot of guys are sluts and you don't want to date a slut.
- You're insecure about your sexual abilities and your ego needs to know the likelihood that she's had better sex with someone else.
- You’re genuinely curious about it just like how you’re genuinely curious about all other aspects of her life.
- You want to know if you should be worried about STDs.
“I wonder if she’ll be ok with me….” If you have any genuine connection with someone, you should already know what her kink level is. Your discussions, jokes, and physical interactions should be honest enough that you already have a good idea of where she stands on things. But if you still don’t know her well enough or you just don’t know how to approach it, the following are four steps to help drop your kink on your woman...Read More
You’re envious of guys who are taller, fitter, and cooler than you. They have clearer skin, more hair, or a chiseled chin that matches their chiseled abs. How are you supposed to compete? You feel invisible in a room full of women. You have never experienced a spontaneous smile from a lady. You don’t know what it feels like to have someone desire you physically. You barely get any matches on Tinder. You’re tired of your mother telling you that only the luckiest of girls deserves you and your time will come.
You are not hot. You know it. They know it. So what’s a brother supposed to do?Read More
Humans are taught to want to move up in life. You’re supposed to earn more money every year. You’re supposed to buy a house. You’re supposed to climb the ladder. You’re taught that staying stagnant means you’re lazy or stupid. You’ve been groomed to always strive for better.
However, this “Always Be Upgrading” rule is not applicable to monogamy. No one ever says, “Hey, don’t you think it’s time for a better wife, already? Aren’t you bored of this one? I know a guy who can get you a way better wife.” You are not supposed to trade in your partner for a better, shinier, model. You live and die by your purchase. Monogamy has diplomatic immunity in the world of self-betterment...Read More
Evolution primed men to find partners who are younger than them. Despite modern advances, we still largely adhere to this default structure. But we have progressed past the Stone Age. Child brides are not acceptable (in Western cultures at least). The sexual appeal of cougars is on the rise. Trophy wives have slid down the podium in favor of intellectual/income earning equivalents. We’ve reached a point where judgment may be passed on a man who dates a woman who is significantly younger than him. But what counts as “significantly younger”?...Read More
Nothing is more confusing than an abrupt end to a text conversation. Your side of anxious chat bubbles start to pile up. Dead air. Why has she gone silent? Where did she go? It’s been two minutes, half an hour, two hours…
The chart below sets out the five main reasons why she didn't text you back with their percentage of likelihood of occurence:Read More
After your girlfriend has complained for months about how you need to update your wardrobe, you walk into your office wearing a new shirt. A female colleague looks at you and says, “That’s an interesting shirt.” You ignore her, walk into the break room to grab a coffee. One of the secretaries performs a pubic service announcement that the pattern of your shirt does not match your tie.
What would be the outcome if you reversed the situation? What if you told your girlfriend, “Your clothes are looking a bit drab, you should go buy some new ones”. What would happen if you told a colleague that her blouse didn’t match her skirt? What if you told your female boss that you prefer her blue suit over the black one?...Read More
You’re a junkie coming down from an unspeakable high. Your heart is racing. You’re on the verge of vomiting. Paranoia follows you. You’re confused, flustered, and breathless. You can’t figure out why 90% of you is racked with guilt and the other 10% of you feels so utterly alive...Read More
A hot chick walks by and your girlfriend gives you a look that could cut glass. You’re heading to a work event and she asks you for a list of all the people who are attending because she wants to know if your hot coworker will be there. The waitress sauntering towards your table is smoking hot and your girlfriend suddenly turns icy cold...Read More
In a perfect world, no woman is out of your league. But in the real world, being a top athlete requires narcissistic confidence, Johnny Depp genes, and a Swiss account. Regular Joes like you lack one, two, or three of these qualities. You are not breaking any salary caps.
You go about life thinking certain females are out of your reach. That one is too hot. That one is too smart. That one is too cool. That one makes too much money. Why would that chick want you? And even if you got her, how the hell would you keep her? She’ll be gone as soon as something better comes along. Why waste time, energy, and heartache on trying to get girls out of your league?Read More
Humanity’s code of conduct states thou shall not sleep with thy friend’s ex. The guiding principle is that a decent lay is a dime a dozen whereas true blue friends are a rarity. The starting point and end point is you should not sleep with your friend's ex. But like all things in life, there are caveats and loopholes that let you worm your way around doing what’s right. Here are some factors to consider..Read More
A break in a relationship requires legal definition. This break is a minefield of loopholes and technicalities. A break in a relationship is not just a momentary reprieve like other normal breaks in your life (ex. coffee breaks, spring breaks, commercial breaks). A break in your relationship is a test of whether you want the other person to remain in your life.
Despite possible heavy repercussions associated with misstep, people often do not define the rules before proceeding. That’s because for one party to say, “Does this mean we can go sleep with other people?” presupposes the demise of the relationship. It answers the test before the pencils were even handed out...Read More